SQUIRREL ANSWERS

A Sunday School teacher posed the following question to her class of children:

     "I'm thinking of something that is furry, has four legs and a bushy tail and collects nuts for the winter. What is it?

     Hands shot up immediately.  "Jesus!" shouted one little girl.

     "Jesus?" said the teacher.  "Why did you say Jesus?"

    "Well," was the reply.  "It sounded like a squirrel but this is Sunday School, so I knew the answer was Jesus!"

 

I believe that this little tale is the source of the occasional usage of the expression "Squirrel Answers" by my daughter Sherry, with whom I am in frequent communication.  While I felt I agreed with her usage, I also felt I need a more concise definition.  However, Mr. Webster was of no help and  when I  googled it, all I got was pictures of little creatures and statements regarding them. I didn't think that this was what Sherry was referring to so I texted her for her definition .

 

Her reply: "That's a hard one.  I use squirrel answer because otherwise I have to give a whole paragraph.  LOL."

 

"I guess basically it's when somebody gives you a trite, by the book answer to a complex, and often personal question.  It is an answer meant to stop the conversation so it is quite often judgmental in nature."

 

"For instance you say that you're having a hard time dealing with the suffering in the world and they quote a Bible verse.  Or you say that gun control is a complex issue and they chastise you for causing strife."

 

After further thought she continued:   "However, based on the jokes that that comes from (apparently a reference to the above story) I think it's when people give you the spiritual answer they're expected to give you - with little regard to whether it's true or not."

 

Not concise, but pretty clear.

 

We're all used to hearing evasive answers from politicians and other public figures:

     "Is it true that you called the president an idiot?"

     "I will not lower myself to answering a question like that!"

 

But it is sad when Christians who are  supposed to have an answer for everyone who asks, can only give canned, evasive answers or out-of-context Bible verses.  I'm not sure why this is done, but I believe squirrel answers are symptoms of more serious problems.  If I may speculate on some of the sources.

 

First I believe that some, as the little girl in the story, assume that this is what we're supposed to do.  As children we are taught to memorize Bible verses, usually with no regard to context.  This continues into adult life.  Many Bible even have tables printed, listing various needs or problems, each followed by an appropriate (?) verse or verses.  We assume that "there's a verse for every problem" (as I have actually been told), that maturity includes a knowledge of the right verse for every situation and that all the questioner needs is to find the right verse.  But the Bible is not a magic book full of magic verses.  It's a complex book that deals with many moral issues in various contexts.  It demands thought!

 

The above types of squirrel answers may not necessarily be judgmental but often are, and whether or not, will be perceived as such.

 

Another source of these answers (related to the one above) is that the answerer believes he/she has attained a greater knowledge than the questioner and again all that is needed are the appropriate words or cliches, which are to be accepted without question.

 

But I suspect that one of the main reasons for squirrel answers is a lack of faith, a fear that shows up when questions are raised for which there appear to be no obvious answers.  I suspect that some Christians have a faith which can be easily shaken by sincere questions.  A pious canned answer can be a protection against such questions.  It can also put the questioner on the defensive.

 

But a faith in the truth and authority of Scripture, a faith in a God who is sovereign, has no need to fear questions for which the answer is not clear or is not known.  The follower of Christ has no need for fear but should take every question as an opportunity for growth in faith.

 

I read somewhere of a graffiti slogan sprayed on a wall, "Jesus is the answer!"  Below it was  sprayed in a different hand, "What was the question?"

 

(By the way: the little girl in this story was not Sherry.)

 

IS CHURCH BORING?

"Men it's a sin to bore people with the Word of God!"

These were the words growled to a class of potential preachers by Haddon Robinson, our homiletics professor at Dallas Theological Seminary.  Haddon was undoubtedly one of the best preachers I have ever heard.  His voice was gravelly and he seemed to have a snarl when he spoke due to a slight disfigurement which made his mouth a bit off center.

We all held a bit of fear, even reverence for this man, and we took his words of warning seriously.  Of course later, after we'd graduated and entered into our ministries, we forgot them  and proceeded to bore people with the Word.  I must confess that I was among those who disobeyed.

We were required to attend chapel services every day and most of the times we went willingly, as we were fed with messages and sermons by some of the greatest theologians and preachers in the land.  After over forty years I barely remember  3 or 4 of the 500+ chapel messages.  But I do remember the singing!  Richard Seume was the seminary Chaplain and he felt that was his ministry to teach us how to worship.  He introduced us to the grand old hymns of the faith:  Charles Wesley's "And Can it Be?"; "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name" (the "Diadem" tune) and so many others.  After more than 40 years I still get chills as I recall 700 students and faculty - mostly men - belting the hymns out with gusto, some singing melody, while others sang their parts.  I believe Dr. Seume felt too, that it was a sin to bore people with their worship of God.  But as with Haddon's warnings, we went out and forgot.

Today we search for "relevance."   We've left behind those dusty old hymns and those biblically based sermons (of course with a nod to some Scriptural passages).  We give people "inspiring" sermons.  We sing songs that have few words and yet are easily forgotten - "seven-eleven songs" someone has labeled them - seven words repeated eleven times.

And in this attempt to be relevant, I believe we have made Christianity irrelevant - and boring!  We're afraid to seriously address theological issues because we're afraid we'll frighten or bore our congregations. We're afraid to speak on the moral issues confronting us, possibly because they've been pre-empted by the political parties and we don't want to sound political.

We don't sing those majestic hymns; we don't sing theological hymns; we don't sing hymns that might arouse emotions.

We have become "the bland leaders of the bland."

I retired from full-time ministry a decade ago and have now become one of those who fill up the pews.  Though I confess that I often find church services boring, I also recognize that in those years of ministry I was a contributor to that sort of boredom in my congregation.  Forgive us - forgive me - Lord for that sin that Haddon warned us of.

And forgive me dear reader, for  my curmudgeonly rant.

I do feel better now!