Tuesday, July 18, 2006

INWARD TRIALS

The other day, Uni (my wife) found this poem taped in the back flyleaf of an old Bible of mine. I don’t remember where it came from, and the name of John Newton was added to it in my hand-writing. John Newton, of course is the converted slave trader of the late 18th century, the author of the hymn, “Amazing Grace.”

These Inward Trials

I asked the Lord, that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace,
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.

I hoped that in some favoured hour
At once He’d answer my request,
And by His love’s constraining power
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

‘Lord, why is this?’ I trembling cried,
‘Wilt thou pursue Thy worm to death?’
‘’Tis in this way,’ the Lord replied,
‘I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st seek thy all in me.’

-- John Newton

I know nothing of the poem’s context, the circumstances behind its writing. (Nor do I have any idea what “gourds” are.) And I don’t remember the circumstances that prompted me to put it in my Bible. Perhaps I was experiencing something similar to what was written.

We can see many “outward trials” all around us. If we don’t have any of our own, all we need to do is turn on the TV news: war, terrorism, crime, domestic abuse, physical illness, “acts of God” – earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, etc., etc. Newton himself had experienced many outward trials in his career and had inflicted them himself on the “passengers” in his ships.

But “inward trials.” I wonder what his were, but it’s really not important. Perhaps Newton was experiencing what John of the Cross, a 16th century monastic, termed “the dark night of the soul.” Many of us have experienced something like this. We’ve grown in our love for God, we’ve longed for a closer walk. But God seems to separate Himself from us. We seek Him but He is nowhere to be found.

Job seemed to be experiencing this dark night. ”Even today my complaint is rebellion; His hand is heavy despite my groaning. Oh that I knew where I might find Him, That I might come to His seat!” (Job 23:2, 3). But he was also seeking an explanation from God. If we read on in Job’s story, we know he did find God, but God never saw fit to explain Himself or His actions to Job, as is often our experience.

Perhaps, as in Job’s case, our inward trials are triggered by outward trials. Perhaps not. Sometimes they are inexplicable. I suppose modern thinkers would see them as caused by a chemical imbalance or short circuit in the brain, or as being triggered by some childhood trauma. They may be right. But the trials are still real.

Some Christian counselors would play the part of Job’s friends and blame these feelings on sin or unresolved conflict. They may be right. They would recommend to us that we simply confess our sin or sins to God and/or others we’ve offended. They may be right. But I wonder what they’d have told Jesus as He struggled in the garden. “And being in agony He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground” (Luke 22:44).

Newton’s “inward trials,” as he described them, were not caused by sin. They were brought on as he tried to “seek more earnestly His (God’s) face.” They were brought on by his desire for “rest.” God was setting him free “from self and pride.” It apparently took a while to understand what was going on.

Sometimes we go through these feelings of inward trial and conflict. It’s a simple solution to get a prescription to cure it. And there are times when this may be the solution. But there are times, I believe, when God simply wants us to “seek His face,” to spend time meditating on His Word and speaking to Him in prayers, even if He seems to refuse to answer.

I’m not saying we should seek these experiences. There is nowhere in the Bible where we are told to seek trials, whether inward or outward. We’re just told that they will come. “Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). But we often hear the biblical writers’ cries of desperation, especially, but not limited to the Psalms. See Psalm 4:1; 5:1, 2; 6:1-3; 10:1; 13:1, 2.

And when we counsel others who are going through experiences like these, we should not be too quick with a solution. It may not be a problem to be solved, but a necessary experience in their growth. They may simply need a listening ear and a supporting arm, a friend to help them through their “dark night.” “ … let every one be quick to hear, slow to speak … ” (James 1:19).

Bill Ball
7/18/2006

Thursday, July 6, 2006

FREE TO LOVE

The New Testament frequently tells believers in Christ that we are free – free from sin, from Satan’s dominion and from the Law of Moses (see ENJOYING OUR FREEDOM). And it warns us of the danger of returning to our old bondage – whether it’s a bondage under sin or under law-works.

After warning the Galatian Christians, “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1), and explaining what that means, Paul gives another warning, “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). The word “flesh” in Paul’s usage, here refers to our old self – the person I was before I came to Christ – the person who still asserts himself. I am a man with two minds – the new man that I am in Christ, and the old man.

What Paul is telling us here, I believe, is that I am free, but I shouldn’t be using that freedom to behave as I did before I came to Christ. I am free to serve others. And the motivating force for that service is love. The word “love” here is not some mushy, sentimental niceness. It’s an active word, a translation of the Greek word agape, which has been defined as “that which seeks the greatest good (God’s will) in its object.”

In verse 14, Paul quotes a text which was, already in his day, 1,500 years old, Leviticus 19:18, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This is the verse that Jesus frequently quoted as the second great commandment and James, Jesus’ brother quoted as “the royal law” (James 2:8) and “the law of liberty” (James 2:12). Paul says that in this one statement “the whole law is fulfilled.”

But who are we to love? Everybody?

Many years ago when I was pastoring, there was an elderly lady in my flock who somehow managed to always keep the pot stirred up. You probably have met people like her. She always seemed to know the wrong thing to say. She was usually angry at someone or had someone angry at her. When I finally approached her and tried to explain the problem, her reply was, “But I just looove everybody.” No matter what I said, she always gave the same remark. I finally gave in but I couldn’t help but think, “Yeah, right! You love everybody, but you don’t like anybody!”

How often has this been true of me? Someone said it’s easier to love mankind than to love my neighbor.

In the same chapter in the book of Leviticus where the Israelites are commanded to love their neighbor (which would probably refer to their fellow Israelite), they are also commanded to love “the stranger (alien) who resides with you” (Leviticus 19:34).

Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you’” (Matthew 5:43, 44; see also verses 45-48). There’s no room for hatred at all! This would include a lot of people: Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, my boss, ____________ (fill in the blank or blanks).

Jesus tells us, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Paul tells us, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25).

My neighbor, the alien, my wife, my fellow believer, even my enemy. And the standard keeps getting raised. First I am told to love as I love myself. Then I am told to love as Christ loved.

Bill Ball
7/5/2006